Jessica

20

Full time worker of two jobs

Piecing my life together, day by day.

bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

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cracks me up every time

(via somethingsensual)

bakrua:

bewbin:

Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting

you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left

(via james-asslow)

gingerkinomiya:

baconeatsyou:

frecklesandmisterblueeyes:

My house is strange. There’s me, i’m bisexual, and I live with my gay brother and my asexual fiance.
My brother and I have the same taste in boys, but i’m really the only one who likes girls, and my fiance is generally just really excited about dragons.

Dude I want this sitcom

is generally just really excited about dragons

(via james-asslow)

penishole:

tobeymacguire:

when straight guys ask how lesbian sex works i feel really bad for their girlfriends because if you dont understand how to have sex with a girl in any way other than repeatedly putting your dick in her you are having some really bad sex

i want to reblog this 100 times but i’ll just do it once

(via straw-berry-galaxies)

makaeru:

jeromeyromeyromeyromeyrome:

Australians get so confused during winter half of the population looks like they have 6 layers on and are ready to hibernate at any given moment the other half is wearing shorts and singlets saying “it’s not even that cold mate” every ten seconds

The best part is that these halves share the same space.

(via hate)

keepcalm-anddontpanic:

moriarty-walks-free:

brigwife:

things you can do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • get married (with parental permission)
  • start a family
  • join the army where they use guns and bombs and shit
  • move out

things you can’t do in the uk at 16 years of age

  • buy a pair of scissors

are you serious

Meanwhile in the US 8 year olds are allowed to shoot guns.

(via straw-berry-galaxies)

starlitecrossing:

okay I really want to talk about something that’s been bugging me! it is not Animal Crossing related, it’s PewDiePie related. he plays games, Animal Crossing is a game, it’s close enough haha! I have more followers on here than on my other blogs, so I thought it would be best to post it here! I want to try to cheer up some people who are upset by him disabling the comments!

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Read More

Slowly starting to build muscle! Holy shit those fucking tires are way too heavy to flip alone at the moment. One day I’ll be able to do it though! 💪💪

strangely-poetic:

jesuser:

imagine all your online friends living near you

"KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKER WHY DIDN’T YOU REBLOG MY POST"

(via james-asslow)

  • fat women: *gets shit on by peers, media, the fashion industry, products and marketing*
  • skinny women: *praised by literally everyone*
  • skinny women: *doesn't say shit while fat women are being put down*
  • Nicki: fuck skinny bitches
  • skinny women: what the FUCK what htE FUCK??? YOU ARE Nt gonna get ANYhwer by shMING ANY body type...we have to LOVE evyer,,,one!!!!1111

shuckl:

shuckl:

shuckl:

toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”

fries

do you ever look back at your mistakes

(Source: aidn, via somethingsensual)

sempiternalink:

I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.

(via trust)